Postcards from three daughters

A guy meets a friend at the traffic light and goes: —Hey, how's your life going? —Great, I'm making a lot of money. —Ah, well, well, perfect. I'm full of money too. —Ah, ok; So, why do you drive that old Dacia? —Look, it's my lucky car and I wouldn't change it for anything in the world! —What do you mean? —I mean there's a genie inside the trunk —Are you kidding me?? —No, not at all. So the guy opens the trunk and inside there is a genie. And he goes: —Look: "Genie, I want a pasta carbonara!" And hop!... The genie makes a pasta alla carbonara appear. —Unbelievable! —Wait, wait. Watch: "I want a four-season pizza"... And there is the pizza. The other guy goes: —Wow, but it's amazing, incredible! I want this car! —No, look, there is no talk of it at all; I don't sell it and you know why. —Do you accept one million? —No, I don't want to know about it —For 2 millions? —No, absolutely nothing —Ok, and for 5 millions?" —Well... okay, okay. They go to the bank, sign a contract, the guy takes the check and the other takes the car. He comes home with that old Dacia, his girlfriend sees the car and says: —But.. but what is that crap?? —No, look, you don't understand, darling; this car is magical! Inside the trunk there is a genie. —Are you kidding me? —No, no, look... He opens the trunk and the genie appears. And he goes: —Now, look. "Genie: do you see my wife? I want you to cover her with diamonds." And the genie says: —No, look, Luca hasn't explained it to you; I only can make 4 seasons pizza and pasta alla carbonara.

Tomorrow

**Mom:** "Daddy doesn’t have two willies!" **Johnny:** "Sure he does! He has the little soft one he uses to pee out of and the massive hard one he uses to brush the babysitter’s teeth with!"

I rely on natural stupidity.

The Three Mouseketeers

Short John Silver

They take short cuts.

The first man says “ I have so much trouble going number one. It comes out in spits and sputters and takes forever. I would give anything to have a good pee.” The second man says “With me, it’s number two. I am so backed up. It’s horrible. I really need to take a good crap.” The third man nods and says “Well for me, it’s all very regular. At 7AM every morning I do number one like a fountain. It comes out perfectly in flowing stream. And number two also happens at the same time, and my bowels empty completely, as smooth as flowing lava.” The other two men look at each other, confused and ask “That doesn’t sound bad at all. What’s the problem?” “The problem,” says the third man, “is that I don’t get out of bed until 9:30!”

people are dying to get in

a flat minor